Hillary Clinton Is Launching A Podcast No One Will Listen To

• Hillary Clinton is launching a podcast.
• It’s a humbling career move for the also ran presidential candidate. Now she’s in the Alex Jones tier of the political totem pole.
• But there’s two big problems. Podcasts actually have to be entertaining. And people literally don’t like the sound of Hillary Clinton’s voice.

Hillary Clinton and iHeartRadio have confirmed a deal to launch her own podcast. That Howard Stern interview obviously rocked her world. It’s good to see Hillary Clinton finally loosening up a little. But unfortunately for her party, she’s four years too late.

And what’s more there is little chance Hillary Clinton has what it takes to succeed in the podcast format. She would have to unclench decades of muscle memory as one of the stiffest, most carefully scripted figures in the public eye.

Hillary Clinton Doesn’t Do Candid Well

Part of why Clinton lost the election in 2016 is because she’s so uncomfortable and unnatural when she’s on the spot. She’s absolutely terrified of microphones and cameras. Donald Trump, by contrast, thrives in that setting. Whatever his critics may say about his intelligence when Trump misspells a word while tweeting from his phone (let he who is without autocorrect cast the first stone!) he actually has a genius for the spotlight.

Hillary Clinton is so shy of the microphone without her teleprompter, that she made headlines in 2015 when her staff kept reporters away from her with rope at an event three months after she announced her candidacy for president. Then while running for president of the United States, Clinton went 269 days without holding a press conference. Does that sound like someone well suited to host a podcast?

Hillary’s Podcast Will Literally Hurt People’s Ears

Hillary Clinton doesn’t have the personality for a podcast, but if that’s not enough to stop her, she sure doesn’t have the voice for it either. In August 2016 The Atlantic literally researched the science behind why people hate the sound of Hillary Clinton’s voice.

The magazine noted:

Commentators often criticize Hillary Clinton for having a loud, monotone, and shrill voice.

Adding:

People sometimes say that they would like Hillary Clinton more if her voice was a little bit less annoying.

The Atlantic’s Olga Khazan interviewed a vocal coach who said:

[Hillary Clinton] is really, really pushing from the throat. Voice is about finessing the air. Not about brute force.

To be fair to Hillary, really pushing from the throat with brute force has worked out well for Alex Jones. Who knows, maybe her podcast will be as successful as InfoWars if Hillary keeps pushing wild conspiracy theories like claiming the Green Party and Tulsi Gabbard are assets of the Russian government.

But more likely, Hillary Clinton’s podcast will be so dry, NASA is more likely to discover water on the Moon.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of CCN.com.